I was swimming in an ocean when the sunshine splintered
The motion of the waves became enraged and Ill tempered
It distinctly felt like sinking to a point where none had ventured
As a light appeared I found myself enveloped by the center
Of the earth inside the molten core, succumbing to the pressure
Gravity was total, crushed to bits and ripped to ribbons
Up and down irrelevant, hell and back no telling if
Anyone could make the journey to and fro with soul intact

I did in fact return, my body burned with bloody flesh
Heavy heart and damaged lungs, abundant whisky on my breath
Fending for myself as I attempted reassembly
Scavenging for scraps that bore resemblance to appendages
To reconstruct the artifice that obfuscates my tendency
To bleed and bleed and bleed and never seek the needed therapy
And treat my own wellbeing as something to handle carelessly
Ever since that summer day that you up and disappeared on me

Before the storm I coulda sworn I saw the clouds flickering
had a premonition you were close 2 being strickened with
A sick and twisted subplot of blood clots thickening
Scored by a cacophony of dingbats bickering

suppose the diagnosis is analogous to being chosen
To serve As an ambassador for cars crashing in slow motion
When you passed the point of coping, and you made it to acceptance
I Wouldn't think youd stick around these parts to document the wreckage

And so you went with no intention when the cancer hit,
Whatever came before would be no match for what came after it
I think you took a look around and calculated damage
Read the writing on the wall and decided how to handle it

You made a few feints that had you lookin like champion
But the wear and tear accumulated, you were merely acting in
A farce that forced the part upon reluctant Steven Adams
Resigned yourself to playing out the string for the academy

You never spelled it out but I could tell you planned the exit
Maybe not the date and time, but you headed that direction
And waited for the hazards of the wilderness to manifest
No SOS or signal flare, no secret coded message

I had the sense some distant day that it would likely come to this
One thing hypothetical, another when confronted with
The cat pawing at your purple feet in need of sustenance
Seeing the futility, persisting with it nonetheless

not mad at your decision, you had the intuition To make
an accurate assessment of the future you'd be skipping
And I'm in no position to insist on something different
Even if I had the wherewithal to realize my wishes

i can never wear your shoes and understand the pain you went through
It doesn't change the fact that I am always gonna miss you
i may never be the same but I will always be here with you
I love you

And I forgive you

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